UFC fighter Forrest Griffin’s latest book “Be Ready When the Sh*t Does Down” will do many things for readers. Outside of preparing for all-out apocalypse (which you will understand to be of paramount importance in your soon-to-be severely disrupted life), it will take you for a self-deprecating, handily illustrated, thoroughly informative ride through the unique mind of the author. It’s a mind that you’re likely not really prepared to be fed shockingly honest life advice from yet will have a lasting appreciation for after just one or two chapters in. While some books are written in coordination with pre-established, formulaic manners, this is not one of them. I repeat;  this is not one of them. For that, I am thankful.

Enter any bookstore across this amenity-laden land of ours and you’ll see the political memoirs, re-hashed cookbooks and accompanying travel publications placed front and center. While this pre-determined swath of genres satisfies the vast majority of (admittedly, including my own), the MMA fan is a different sort of creature when it comes to enriching the brain with things other than a quality pay-per-view event. One can confidently say a combat sports enthusiast craves something utilitarian but off the predictable path. After all, a fight is one of the least predictable events in all of sporting. The MMA fan has a fever for originality answered only by a prescription including, oh let’s say… a wily survival guide penned by someone like former UFC light heavyweight champion Griffin.

The apocalypse will not be televised

In this glorious explosion of printed information aimed at bettering your chances of post-nuclear success, readers will be confronted with detailed instructions to hone skills in areas including the following:

– Ridding your life of hangers-on you’ll soon classify as useless a.k.a. detrimental to your survival
– Hunting (your prey and purpose may vary)
– Transforming one’s vehicle an indestructible force to be reckoned with
– Firearm use (all aspects including how not to lose a limb in the process)
– Transportation (not exactly a walk in the park in post-apocalyptic society)
– Realizing just how terribly unprepared we are as a whole and what to do about it now
– Removing any and all ego trips

Getting in touch with the inner Forrest

Mr. Griffin is well known to be a man of brutal honesty and deadpan humor when interviewed by members of the media. Again, something out of the ordinary which I am thankful for. One never has to hope for something raw and uncensored with Griffin because it’s to be expected. Needless to say, this book is an excursion deep into that off-brand stream of consciousness.

Forrest doesn’t own a soapbox at any point of any chapter but rather champions a down-to-earth way of living that ranks keeping in touch with reality a top priority. Rather than just bark random orders, the ways of living one finds from cover to cover are well-supported with hilarious stories of personal experiences as recalled by his wife, friends and himself. Griffin’s brilliant tone through the book is undeniable and co-author Erich Strauss contributes some golden asides. In fact, the asides (aka “fortune cookies”) which are popped in a few times per chapter are a welcomed feature after getting underway with reading and provide additional comedic gold at all the right points.

Do yourself a favor and get yourself a copy of Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down before I’m resorting to hammering out 6th-Round.com with chisel and stone tablet in hand. Because as you’ll learn about the sh*t going down – it’s not a matter of if, but when. Let Forrest Griffin into your life, if just for a day, and you’ll be glad you did when your neighbors all wish they were the one with the Vehicle of Death (see: the book I’ve been heralding here) roving the soon-to-be barren lands of Earth.


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